Serious.

My love life is so tragic. I try and try and try and FUCK IT ALL nothing works. I'm so sad. I feel like. Cutting shit. Up. But sometimes I write down my feeling on scraps of napkins from Italian restaurants. Then I go home and word process that shit and post it on youtube and deviantart under the guise of reymon14.... But first I should explain my situation.

I am madly in love with someone who I cannot name by first, last, or middle name, or even by initials. But I will tell you that this person is female. She is, quite frankly, the most perfect woman in the world next to Boxxy. She possessessess sexiness, intelligence, humor, mystery, and knowledge of sandwiches. Except she listens to shitty music. A lot of women these days listen to shitty music, but I can't help that. 99.9% of my musical (and even cultural) knowledge has come from men. And I thank them. Anyways, this woman is everything to me. I'd drag my own penis through ten miles of broken glass to feed to a giraffe just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie.

Now is the tragic part.
Brace yourself.

3...






2...








1...







Her name is Helen Keller.












The problem should be glaringly obvious.









She doesn't appreciate the game of Jenga
(much like Michael J. Fox. Because of Parkinsons.)


AND YOU ALL KNOW HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE JENGA.







So there you have it.





But my love will perservere.






I will teach her to love the game.








Love it like Green Eggs and Ham (Braille Edition).

Then.









And.





Only Then.













Will she realize that I am the only person in the entire world that can ever make her happy.

















<3